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Joke of the Day

"""I need a car. What do you have?"" ""Well, we have a Subaru Outback"" ""But what kind of Subaru?"" ""Outback"" ""I don't CARE where you keep it..."""

"dad, why does my cake say ""we dont want a talking cake"" ""its a long story son"""

"Sick of tweeting. Switching to faxing. What's everybody's fax numbers?"

"Why did the fox cross the road? It was chassing after the chicken!"

"Dad, did you let the parrot name me? - Haha, no that's ridiculous, Brock."

"What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills? Aretha Franklins"

"What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate."

"Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean"

"*tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*"

"If short people smoke weed... If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium."