48378

Joke of the Day

"Why was hans crying at dinner? Because the meat was Chewy."

"[company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]"

"@NBCSports thank you for making the sports"

"[clown cleaning shower] MRS CLOWN: Don't forget to remove the hair from the drain. [clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]"

"What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet!"

"They say I have cancer and Alzheimers... But at least I don't have cancer!"

"Dinosaurs probably spelled Tuesday, 'Ptuesday'"

"I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice."

"Why did the hipster... Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the hot coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it."