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Joke of the Day

"[company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]"

"What's more covered in sweat than a marathon runner at the end of a race? Josh Duggar at a family reunion."

"I went to a prostitute and asked her if I could do her Greek style. ""Sure"" she said So I fucked her in the ass and left without paying."

"Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants? because they serve Poutine."

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"*flips table* YO WHO CALLED THEM EXPIRATION DATES INSTEAD OF SPOILER ALERTS"

"Didn't will.i.am once say he was going to make a car? well.he.isn't"

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Iv got an ear infucktion. Better assk again."

"What is it called when a criminal gets excited? A Con-Yay!"

"Hey, black licorice, stop calling yourself ""candy"". You are nothing but a chewy fart and we both know it."