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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster... Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the hot coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide..."

"The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends...."

"Q: How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs it's cheaper to sit in the dark"

"Do insurance companies consider property damages caused by ISIS... an act of god?"

"Liked the 3 day weekend? Try not having a job, it's a 365 day weekend."

"My drug dealer is so funny Always cracks me up"

"Hey traveling businessmen, no need to put a lock on your carry-on. No one wants your briefcase full of boring."

"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."

"Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece."