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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn't matter that son of a bitch still won't come when u call it"

Next Joke
 
"What did the pirate day on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"
"""Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night"" -medieval millennials"
"I had a failed amputation... Costed me an arm and a leg."
"Why was the programmer sexist? Because he treats women like objects. EDIT: phrasing"
"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."
"I will be the first president who is openly mentally ill"
"Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill"
"What does Garfield like in his bed? Pussy"
"What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing"