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Joke of the Day
"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between quarter and the eighth. $50 bucks"
"I don't need a tat to look hard. Just a pic of your mom..."
"Just named my dog Naked. Now im going to walk naked down the street eveyday."
"Mr. T went to the toilet I pity the stool"
"Mom: how's therapy Me: ok. my anxiety is better Mom: great Me: yeah Mom: Me: Mom: so did u get the article I sent u about the flesh eating b"
"If I throw my son a baseball, he drops it. A football, he fumbles. But if I toss him a cell phone, my man has a sick one handed, no look."
"What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country"
"when i die use my ashes to fill souvenir snowglobes to mimic the death rain of the apocalypse pouring down on a vacant cityscape. very metal"
"I make apocalypse jokes... Like there's no tomorrow"