148609
Joke of the Day
"I will be the first president who is openly mentally ill"
Next Joke
"ANIMAL CONTROL: what the hell were you thinking ME: releasing birds at a wedding is romantic ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches"
"My wife told me to get her something she can use for her birthday this year. So I got her a face-lift and a tummy tuck."
"What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather? A faint Bernard!"
"I miss the old days. When a duck face meant that you had a stroke."
"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."
"This alcohol tastes like there's a sock getting lucky tonight."
"A Trochee looks at his friend and says ""you look a little stressed"". The friend says ""i am"""
"Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL."
"The jerk store called. Instead of texting. Typical"