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Joke of the Day
"Why was the programmer sexist? Because he treats women like objects. EDIT: phrasing"
Next Joke
"I'm not sure if I'm depressed Or just nihilistic"
"I asked my doctor if there were any jokes in my body. No pun in tendon."
"I was so touched last week when a shopkeeper handed my 3yo a donut without checking with me, that today I gave his teen a bag of heroin."
"Walk into the club like what up does anyone own a black Honda Element because your lights are on"
"Turned out the lights I started walking down the stairs, and I flipped the light switch to off. It wasn't a bright idea. I'll see myself out."
"What's the difference between a horse dick and a joke? You can't take a joke."
"""When I was your age, I invented the time machine"" I told my Granddad."
"Why did the hipster only listen to dead musicians? So he could say he listened to them when they were underground."
"Why are you late? Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."