13563

Joke of the Day

"""Hey I like you"" ""I like you too"" ""Let's lick the inside of each other's mouths to express our love"" ""Yeah that's not weird. Let's do that"""

"Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for ""located"""

"If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer."

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the galaxy"

"Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks"

"There are two muffins in an oven. The one muffin says to the other one, ""Woah, a silent muffin!"""

"Did you hear about the fire on the Indian reservation? It was intense."

"OK I just checked and cracked iPad screens are NOT covered under the health care reform bill, WTF?"

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing saran wrap pants He says ""Doctor, I think I'm crazy"" The doctor says, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts"""

"Sorry I wrote ""All dogs matter"" on your ""I my Weimaraner"" bumper sticker."