211850
Joke of the Day
"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"
Next Joke
"I have the body of an 20 year old... ...but it's starting to stink up my basement so I'm thinking I'm gonna burn it."
"Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying ""The court room sketch artist is so hunky."""
"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify."
"TIL Steve Irwin's official cause of death was ""onset of fever"" https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fever"
"A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says ""My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to' but YOU ???"""
"How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients"
"Are kids that are born in a whorehouse called Brothel Sprouts?"
"Fun to hear newscasters, while their chopper hovers over an active crime scene, scold people ""the last thing the police need is spectators"""
"An angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it will take her a week to pack for vacation? Women..."