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Joke of the Day

"I guess if your a meth head You've only got one sleep until Christmas"

"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus? Santa goes down the chimney"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"Q: What goes ""krab krab krab""? - A: A dog barking in a mirror."

"For my food service workers out there: How many servers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not my fucking sidework!"

"I went to a zoo... I went to a zoo over the weekend. There was only a dog there. It was a shitzu."

"Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised."

"Every time my Father in law gets trashed, he asks if I've lost weight... So naturally I bring a bottle of scotch every time we visit."

"Funny how I used to see human features in things like electrical sockets, or clouds, or my ex."

"REQUEST: any Greg Giraldo jokes or is it still too soon? I think the world is ready. Shoot!"