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Joke of the Day

"""I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion."" -- Web comment that has never been made"

"What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet!"

"You can tell a lot about a man by the way he calls off the wedding and starts dating your brother."

"I wish life was like a bad hand of spades No Trumps . . . . . . . . . ...I'll see myself out."

"Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window."

"Today I fell asleep for twenty minutes during a thirty minute car ride, which was strange because I was driving."

"What is the politically correct term for Mexicans? Human Beans."

"John is swinging Lisa around with a period of 0.5 revolutions per second. What happens when the period is increased? John Unexpectedly paints his walls red."

"What is Fonzi's favorite letter of the alphabet? ""F"", for Fonzi. Duh."

"Why are ghosts always dehydrated? They have a lot of boos but no water"