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Joke of the Day

"New egg is so Corny (Have they always done this) http://oi61.tinypic.com/33kak2a.jpg"

"When I'm texting, I start typing faster when i see you're typing too. Oh, IT'S ON!! #amazingrace"

"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."

"My Gran just asked me ""What's the name of that God-damn Jew who keeps hiding stuff around my house!?"" It's Alzheimer, grandma. Alzheimer."

"I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train."

"So I went to my Hipster drug dealer last night... He gave me an instagram"

"If the first piece of advice from any life coach isn't ""avoid bears"" you're being scammed."

"Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car."

"A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here he asks a sergeant. - Yes you do. You may eat it or not."

"Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people."