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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people."

"*walks into door on street, looks around* Whew...no one saw me... One year later... *watching TV* *sees self on Funniest Videos*"

"I was going to join the Preoccupy New York protests... but I have better things to do."

"What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator? Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it."

"Why did the fish sink? (This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick."

"A guy is talking to his friend about his new girlfriend ""I did her up the arse on the first date"" the guy reveals proudly. ""no shit?"" His friend replies. ""nah, she had an enema beforehand"""

"How many times do you pass your coworker in the hall before you switch from saying ""hi"" to breakdance fighting?"

"What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I'll BC-ing you later."

"Avin a shat on the big loo wif all me mates"

"Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am."