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Joke of the Day

"Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy? We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar."

"What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A tank!!!! PEW PEW PEW!!"

"So I hear Reddit likes cats. Anyone ever hear the joke about the cat on the roof? Ehhh never mind. It's over your head."

"Juliet: O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Romeo: New phone. Who dis?"

"My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child.. But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins."

"Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world."

"Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e-mail."

"Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife."

"Catch 22: I bought a protein shake but am not strong enough to twist the cap off."

"Why should you never trust atoms? They make up everything."