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Joke of the Day

"Why should you never trust atoms? They make up everything."

"What do you call a trumpet on a leash? A trumPET *Edit Also why is this Marked Politics?"

"My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon.."

"FARMER: [when the protractor he ordered online finally gets delivered] this isn't what i wanted at all"

"Did you hear about the blacksmith that was arrested for creating iron calligraphy? He was charged with forging signatures."

"People ask me what I'm really into these days. I tell them ""debt."""

"Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!"

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 30, my basement is still dark."

"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"

"*boyfriend calls girlfriend* Bf: ""Hey Babe, I love you!"" Gf: ""we're breaking up"" Bf: ""no we're not, I can hear you just fine."""