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Joke of the Day

"My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child.. But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins."

"I always give 110%. Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says okay I'll serve you, as long as you don't start anything."

"A man came into a bar....no, wait, it was a horse. A man came into a horse......."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture."

"Every week I buy healthy fruits & vegetables and every week I throw out spoiled fruits & vegetables because I like steak."

"What does Donald Trump call a hundred dollar bill? Trump change"

"If you own a big home and someone tells you to go big or go home, you get trapped in a paradox forever and can't even die. I'm serious."

"Guys: when you're shaving, do the Hitler part first. You don't want to get interrupted and then be running around with just the Hitler part."

"You look cute without glasses. my glasses."