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Joke of the Day

"Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e-mail."

"Eye of the tiger. Nose of the lion. Mouth of the lynx. Ear of the bobcat. Throat of the cougar. Forehead of the ocelot."

"What does wearing Crocs and getting your dick sucked by a dude I have in common? They both feel really good but when you look down you know you're gay."

"What do you do if you get a peanut stuck in your ear ? Pour in a little chocolate and it comes out a treat."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Sent back if it's not hot enough."

"If I ever see my wife asleep with her mouth wide open, I seize the opportunity. First I unzip my pants, then I pull out my penis... And then I have sex with her sister."

"They're giving Caitlyn Jenner ANOTHER TV show Apparently, they have her competing in the Olympics again. It's going to be called ""Drag Races""."

"What fruit/vegetable doesnt leave your body through the anus? A Stomato"

"[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock"

"H: Do you like carpet or prefer it bare? M: I'm OK with a little carpet of she shaves the rest H: We're talking about floors M: HR again?"