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Joke of the Day

"As I sit here naked in Hugh Jackman's hotel room, it occurs to me that I might have mixed up my bucket list with my wife's."

"Clerk: Why do you need 200 condoms? Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals"

"What makes an ink joke so funny? The plot."

"A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals."

"Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2"

"What do you get when you cross a person and a manatee? HUMANITY! ...And bestiality...."

"What dog can tell the time ? A watch dog !"

"What do you call an expert on fishing hooks and lures? A master baiter"

"So a man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap The psychiatrist looks up at him and says "" I can clearly see your nuts"""

"How come men don't watch women's ice hockey? No man can handle that many periods."