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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me. When she did, I gave her a note that said ""Great Job!"" I wanted things to end on a positive note."

"Why do black people spend so much on their shoes? You would to if you had such a long walk home."

"Bad Cop: The proof is in the pudding. Good Cop: Stop putting all our evidence in pudding. Why do you keep putting our evidence in pudding?"

"Why are orphans bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Your honor I object! That other lawyer is saying stuff that makes my client look guilty"

"A neutron walks into a bar... A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""How much for a drink?"" The bartender replies, ""For you? No charge."""

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."

"What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? A last name"

"how do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away their tiny brooms."

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"