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Joke of the Day

"What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? A last name"

"Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path. Me: I eat like this everyday."

"Why did the atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers!"

"What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler? A toddler can count past two..."

"I love going to the dentist. He fills all my cavities. Then checks my teeth."

"If I were a famous president I would totally use money as photo I.D."

"Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!"

"I like my women like I like my wine... 18 years old and locked in my basement"

"THAT SMILE A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"" He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."""

"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."