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Joke of the Day

"Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac"

"The Arabs invented a time machine. It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century."

"I'm having a completely dry January... ...no foreplay whatsoever. (Stolen from Gary Delaney's show this evening - great show Gary!)"

"To the girl who wore a white dress to the wedding I went to this weekend, good for you for not needing people to like you"

"I like my woman like I like my cheese Old, French and smelly"

"Thinking about opening a restaurant for breast cancer survivors. It's called Hooter."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."

"I've noticed something about /r/Jokes... ...all the comments are very punny."

"What's the worst part about seeing 4 black people go off a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac seats 5."

"A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,"