47615

Joke of the Day

"At a train station, struck up a convo with a friendly Indian couple waiting next to me. I asked the guy how old he was and he goes, ""My wife is dirty and I'm dirty two."" No kiddin' oh boy"

"No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss."

"Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to."

"I got arrested at the airport last week. Appearently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding the plane."

"What do you call a drug-addicted canine? A meth lab!"

"What do you have to bring if you visit r/nsfw_gifs? Giffy Lube."

"Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay? He had served his sentence."

"I went to a conference for leg less woman, that place was crawling with pussy."

"Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy."

"What's the difference between dads and boomerangs? The boomerangs always come back."