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Joke of the Day

"On The Walking Dead, Glenn said ""I will find you."" I guess he's gonna keep an eye out for her."

"Vacuuming My vacuum cleaner sucks!"

"BANISTER A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister. ""What are you doing?"" he asks. She answers, ""Warming up your dinner."""

"This guy and I were arguing in an elevator when all of the sudden it turned into a fist fight We really took it to the next level"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning Hippy? Because he was too far out, man."

"A Jewish kid asks his dad for money He asks his dad for 10 dollars. His dad replies, ""8 dollars? What do you need 5 dollars for?"""

"I've had a revelation from God himself! and he told me to share it with you all! It's hmm...ehhh... wait just a second, damn I think I have forgotten it! bah can't have been that important then"

"What is the definition of ""derange""? De place where de cowboys ride!"

"[taking pregnant wife to hospital ER] Me: Help! My wife's having contradictions! Dr: Don't you mean contractions? Wife: Never say never"

"I wipe my ass like I drive... Only stop on red"