1907

Joke of the Day

"I wipe my ass like I drive... Only stop on red"

"All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape."

"RIP to the Italian chef, it's nice to gnocchi pasta pizzafully."

"What's the difference between a customer and a weatherman? One knows he's not always right."

"Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable."

"Why was the Egyptian queen so grumpy? Because, she was on her pyramid!"

"What does the Pillsbury Dough boy hide under his apron? Dough nuts!"

"What are the differences and similarities of flint michigan and the walking dead universe? They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars."

"What does a crappy Carpenter make? Loose stools"

"Why is Dave Mustaine described as ""heavy metal""? Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)"