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Joke of the Day

"College Jesus Jesus opens the fridge, one of his roommates asks: ""is it wine yet"". Jesus says no it says 'still water'"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? A Japanese business man wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!"

"Yes, Neil, everything sounds better when you have a great voice. That's how sound works."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? [nsfw] The wheelchair."

"An insect just flew into my bedroom and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy Long Legs."

"What did the double-amputee say when he stood up? ""I stand corrected."" -From /r/showerthoughts"

"What did the Priest say to the Church of Vegetables? Lettuce pray."

"What's Finn's favorite grocery store? TR-8R Poe's."

"What's it like paying a dude for sex? It's a pain in the ass."