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Joke of the Day

"Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?"

"I used to steal identities... You people are so boring I ended up returning them."

"I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!"

"I'll do almost anything to lose weight. But exercising and eating properly is where I draw the line."

"The Chinese New Year is almost here. I know they're in another time zone, but 2 months behind seems a little extreme."

"Dear Dude, who's slowly walking towards me at the park bench, dragging his one leg and can't keep his balance. Please be drunk and not a zombie."

"What did the ninja do when he failed to kill his target? He sai'd"

"How do Protestants like their orange juice? without Pope"

"What do you call a Chinese conga line? A Chu Chu train"

"Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to burst into tears as his grandmothers Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer recognize him."