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Joke of the Day
"Alligators sewing little pictures of rich white people on their shirts."
Next Joke
"Cauliflower is just ghost broccoli."
"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"
"Q: What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork? A: Kermit the Frog's Finger"
"Life is like a box of chocolate... ... it doesn't last long for fat people."
"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"
"Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago."
"What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common? They both say ""Insert Bill Here"""
"Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies."
"I paid My 11 old $10 to do the dishes, so on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson."