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Joke of the Day

"Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies."

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"Why is the twin towers and gender the same. There used to be two of them but now it's to offensive to talk about."

"What does my brothers wife and a Chevrolet have in common? They're both extremely high maintenance"

"I found a spider in my shoes today He looked so ridiculous they were way to big for him"

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree..... I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date."

"What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? A gang rape"

"If I ever had to hear ""Margaritaville"" in its entirety I would strangle myself to death."

"What happens when an Illuminati member works out and gets really buff? He becomes an Illumi-hottie"

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"