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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this *Pushes salad aside*"

"Do Wilma Flintstone got a booty? She yabba-dabba dooooooo!"

"[job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words"

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A threesome."

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."

"Apparently when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family. So why did they call the cops when I left without paying? My family never makes me pay."

"I always cry at weddings (they're wasting so much rice!!)"

"Another gorgeous fall morning I wish I was sleeping through."

"(NSFW) What did God say when he walked in on his son masturbating? ""Jesus fucking Christ!"" I'll see myself out."

"Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels."