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Joke of the Day

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."

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"A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited."
"I don't understand how people can do such good impersonations. I can't even be myself around other people."
"You only miss something when you notices something is gone... Only now I realise how many words requires the letter W because my keyboard can't type 'W'."
"""Something's keeping me from masturbating,"" the young woman confided to her doctor. ""I can't quite put my finger on it."""
"Did you hear that Tote's have brought out a line of spherical candies of suprisingly high quality? They're totes amazeballs."
"A pessimist, optimist and feminist Optimist: The glass is half full Pessimist: The glass is half empty Feminist: The glass is raped"
"How many dead hookers does it take to fill up a garage I know it isn't 37"
"So I wanted to write a joke about the lack of aplomb demonstrated by the police recently in Texas. But that would resemble a bomb, and I might get in trouble."
"Female Ghostbusters? What about male Charlie's Angels?"
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