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Joke of the Day

"Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves... Free."

"What do accountants use for birth control? Their personality."

"Doc- it appears that you take everything way to seriously. You need to get your shit togeth... Oh no, what are you doing! No! Stop!"

"Rick Astley will give you any of his pixar movies except one... His SAG preview copy of Inside Out. It would be unethical for him to share that copy while it's still in theaters."

"What did the nutrionist say to the zombies as they were breaking down the doors of a hospital in West Hollywood? ""Don't forget to eat your gays and invalids."""

"The final season of Jersey Shore will feature all your favorite characters - The Situation, Snooki, the Department of Child Services. . ."

"I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, ""Not overly racist."""

"""I would describe your butt as a 7/10..."" ""...There's a crack and a hole in it."""

"How I would kidnap pedophiles. Have a white van advertisting free kids."