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Joke of the Day

"a fun thing to do if your wife leaves her fb open: post an argument you had but switch who said what and watch her friends agree with 'her'"

"What's the easiest thing to lift with a forklift? A palette."

"My daughter told me I'm ""slightly prettier than Ben Franklin,"" so I have that going for me."

"What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse? Take me to your Liederkranz."

"What is the most religious insect ? A mosque-ito !"

"I think we should solve world hunger. You might say I'm a strong believer in world peas. ^I'll ^see ^myself ^out..."

"When Jesus saw those riled up Romans needless to say he was very cross."

"Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen? They are afraid of triggers."

"Imagine if, in some fit of drug-induced rage back in the 60s, Keith Richards had killed David Crosby & Gram Parsons? Talk about killing two byrds with one stone."

"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."