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Joke of the Day

"Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake"

"Why do feminists make bad mass shooters? Because they always give a trigger warning."

"What does a vampire call a hemophiliac? Diarrhea."

"Two snakes walk into a bar. Turns out they were lizards."

"You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."

"Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?.... the holocaust"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had loco motives."

"Winrar is not free"

"My date didn't go as planned and now I don't know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese."

"For those who never forget a face, you are an exception."