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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, when I'm in the bathroom.. ...My dog tries to lick my balls... so I close the door...because that way nobody can see us."

"Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**"

"Taxidermist's Wife: Whatcha thinkin' about? Taxidermist: Stuff."

"How is snow white? -Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs"

"A Blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio. It says that 2 Brazilian men were killed. She starts crying and says, ""How many is a Brazilian?"""

"I met up with my ex-fiance today and immediately began having sex The police did not take it well as I was only asked to identify the body."

"Why are periods called ""Aunt Flo""? Because for 3-5 days, it's a PROGRESSIVE pain in the ass."

"Why did the rope go to jail? Because he was knotty"

"Heard this in an Indian soap opera.. Boy: Are you from England? Girl: Yeah! How'd you know? Boy: You are so beautiful, I just thought."

"why do they call them light bulbs? they don't weigh very much"