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Joke of the Day

"I met up with my ex-fiance today and immediately began having sex The police did not take it well as I was only asked to identify the body."

"What do you say to a man with a broken lizard? Sorry about your reptile dysfunction."

"Colleagues who feel the need to say ""You either love me or hate me!"" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter."

"What's the best part of a woman? between 18 and 24 yrs"

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"

"Did you know that people from Dubai don't like ""the Flintstones""? ... but Abu Dhabi do!"

"What is the worst joke in philosophy? One that kant be repeated."

"[elementary school] BULLY: gimme your lunch money ME: no B: *grabs me by shirt* I said give it M: ok but this has to stop I'm your teacher"

"Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !"

"I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg"