46828

Joke of the Day

"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."

"What is the best way to hunt bear ? With your clothes off."

"[two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain] ""Hi."" ""Hi. U look familiar. Were u on A3564 before it went supernova?"" ""Yes."" ""U still owe me $20."""

"One half of reddit will be mortified, the other will laugh at this joke. What did the south tower say to the north? BRB man, I've got to catch a plane. Im soz."

"Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa? I thought he didn't care about the 1%"

"I hate when homeless people beg me for money. No, buddy, I'm not giving you money to buy drugs. I need that money to buy drugs."

"Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?"

"Why was Hitler better than Jesus? Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread ad 2 fish, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."