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Joke of the Day

"[two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain] ""Hi."" ""Hi. U look familiar. Were u on A3564 before it went supernova?"" ""Yes."" ""U still owe me $20."""

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"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""
"Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd."
"[buying cucumber and vaseline] me: got an awesome night planned clerk: eugh [later, eating a cucumber and vaseline sandwich] this is awful"
"Really funny joke What's Charlie Sheens middle name? Washingma Charlie Washingma Sheen"
"What state has the best small sized soft drink? Minisoda"
"My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her..."
"Psychiatrist ""Tell me about your trust issues."" Me ""No"""
"Someone angrily told me ""You're so sarcastic!"" That would be like me angrily telling a woman ""You're so beautiful!"""
"Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, ""You gotta bring it today!"" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*"
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