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Joke of the Day

"Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]"

"I live for the nods pedestrians give when you stop to let them cross."

"What does a white girl and the numbers 3,5,7,and 9 have in common They can't even"

"Why Men Are Forgetful Men's boobs are forgetful because they have no mammary's"

"Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego."

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers."

"At my age getting lucky means having the house to myself"

"There's a spider that's been in the same place on my living room wall for an hour so he's essentially also watching Shrek."

"What did the sun god say in apology for all he had done wrong? ""I Apollogize""."

"""My dream is to create something that both dogs and fraternity brothers will enjoy chasing with equal vigor."" -- inventor of the frisbee"