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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Student: The sign said, ""School Ahead, Go Slow!"""

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."

"Idea: A non-violent stun gun that yells ""Cuba Gooding, Jr. has an Oscar!"""

"I used to have a roommate who was always smoking in my apartment, but only with e-cigs. He died of e-cancer."

"Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you."

"What sort of crime is it if a neckbeard commits murder? A fedoral offense."

"(NSFW) I heard he's so rich ... he takes a golden shower every morning."

"I've built a labyrinth for my pigs. It's ham-mazing."

"I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking ""hey, can I see how you look?"" is frowned upon."

"My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with."