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Joke of the Day

"Boss: What's for lunch? Me: Food. B: What kind of food? M: The kind you eat. B: ... M: ... B: ... Me: You hired me. This is your fault."

"You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly."

"Rabbits are either running or being a statue. You never see a rabbit strolling."

"Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey."

"If you lose your hearing,... is it ear replaceable?"

"I blow, but I don't swallow. I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I? I am a flag."

"*goes 100mph in Prius *gets pulled over by police Cop: HOW"

"Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon."

"Why was kleenex dancing? It had a little boogie in it."

"If donald trump marries donald duck ,What will they name their child? Donald Dump"