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Joke of the Day
"Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought."
Next Joke
"""Hola! I'm Senor Coconut, children"" [cracks head on the pavement. Children scream] ""Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"""
"When I have to put on one of those thick leather weightlifter belts to take a shit, I know it's time to eat a vegetable."
"What do you call a bread that's not too bright? a dimwheat"
"What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor (or a broken piano)"
"Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!"
"Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, I'm guessing it's because they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."
"Your mama is so fat..... Your daddy proposed to her with an onion ring."
"Marital prejudice/ politics amongst fruit Q: What did Mr & Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon? A: But you cantaloupe!"
"[Gives husband a list for groceries] He brings home 1/2 of what's on the list and someone else's kid."