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Joke of the Day

"People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but... i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come"

"So with the iPhone 6S coming out... I'm guessing it will be a huge 6-s."

"How do you get wishes from cheese? You fed-a-genie!"

"I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister's library card."

"A clown walks into a strip club and says... Someone throw a pie in my face!"

"Can they make band aids that are easier and faster to unpack so I don't bleed to death?"

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!"

"Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery."

"ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?"