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Joke of the Day

"Can they make band aids that are easier and faster to unpack so I don't bleed to death?"

"What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!"

"Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"Always remember, there's someone out there for everyone... You'll probably never find them and die alone, but they're out there."

"LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy."

"I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism. But I decided it would be pointless."

"I have an awful lot of shampoo and conditioner for a single bald dude"

"Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven't pissed in 8 hrs"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just the two... but it takes a whole dedicated team at emergency to remove it."

"Why is an angry drunk not called mean-spirited?"