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Joke of the Day
"A clown walks into a strip club and says... Someone throw a pie in my face!"
Next Joke
"Bin Laden is also responsible for all of my typos and unfunny tweets."
"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""
"My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey."
"How do cows talk to each other? They cowmoonicate."
"They irony of being hit by a Dodge."
"my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot"
"What do cats listen to during their free time? they listen to podcats."
"What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin"
"Why did the zoo close the big cat exhibit? Because they just kept lion around!"