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Joke of the Day
"Existing is a pretty remarkable achievement."
Next Joke
"My new bucket really does its job well. My old one pails in comparison."
"I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ... but it slowly grew on me."
"One of my patients took me to Sioux City Now Iowa defense attorney a lot of money."
"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"
"A termite walks into a bar and asks ""Where is the bar tender?"""
"Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but he'll tell everybody."
"How can you tell a pirate is being raped? You hear him screaming ""Quit plunderin' my booty!"""
"What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year? It's a fugazi."
"Google Search: -is my toaster broken -can fire ants make toast -bathtub fire, small -house fire, how to stop -is house fire toast a thing?"