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Joke of the Day

"A man was recently admitted to the emergency room because of a tendency to talk with his hands too much. He was diagnosed with gesticular cancer."

"Guys, if you want to make a girl moan, tremble, and scream: be a spider."

"I saved 100 orphans from a burning building. Do they call me ""The Orphan Saver?"" No. I butchered 20 men with my bare hands in WWI, but so they call me ""The Butcher?"" No. But you fuck one goat...."

"What's the difference between a Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools."

"My wife walked in on me and found me f***ing our daughter... I didn't know what she found more disturbing, the fact I was f***ing our daughter, or that the abortion clinic sold me her fetus."

"What is it called when the police work overtime? Copper Nitrate."

"Surprise sex is the best sex. Unless you're in prison."

"Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat."

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist black people would rob me."