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Joke of the Day
"What did the hipster say... ...when he was told to get off the couch? ""Nah-imma-stay"""
Next Joke
"I remember the last thing my grandad said to me before he kicked the bucket. ""I'm going to kick this bucket"""
"Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful."
"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."
"Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!"
"When god created Adam, she said: ""I've got good news and bad news.... ...good news is, I'm giving you a penis AND a brain. Bad news is, I'm only giving you enough blood to use one at a time."""
"Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with? The Icebergs"
"Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut."
"Just saw a dude with a row of pimples that looked exactly like a sick handlebar moustache. Nice one, puberty."
"The two most valuable lessons I've learned in life: 1) never reveal everything you know."