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Joke of the Day

"So I was playing terraria and I got killed by an eater of souls... Damn gingers"

"You know what I like to do? Answer my own questions."

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. http://imgur.com/gallery/8u6m2Nv"

"So this guy gets pulled over... He's speeding and clearly stoned. The police officer says: ""How high are you?"" And the man replies ""No officer, it's hi how are you."""

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care."

"Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL? because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!"

"What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas? Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it."

"How do you turn your girlfriend into an angry pirate? Cum in a her eye and kick her in the shin."

"I heard they're making a revival of a show once Donald Trump is elected I'm going to love watching the new Orange is the New Black."

"WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear."