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Joke of the Day

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. http://imgur.com/gallery/8u6m2Nv"

"Why does a dirvorce cost so much? Because it's worth it"

"I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, & my fingers...because I can always count on them."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you're twelve before it comes on your face."

"I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters"

"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"

"1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball."

"What goes ""Ooooooooooo!""? A cow with no lips."

"Why do they say ""break a leg !"" to actors ? If you said ""tear an ACL !"" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot."

"Oh vajazzled is definitely going on my bucket list. I'll pity the fool that has to jazzle my vag."